Better Thoughts

Last night, obviously, was a tough night. But after some deep thinking, praying and talking with awesome friends and family, I realized this break time with Cody might be a good thing.

One of the girls I work with gave me a thought today, that Cody isn't is "relationship mode." He's in "missionary mode", which is soo soo true. Just because this happened doesn't mean that it's permanent. She said that may be a reason that his feelings had changed, that he's in the last year of his mission and is just focused on the work that he has set out for him and wants to go out with a bang! So true! I felt so much better after having that conversation.

I have used this time as true reflection for my life as well. This time I am going to be using as a time to get my life back together. To truly understand who I am and work on who I know I need to be and want to be. I thought I already knew that, but the past few months I have decided that I didn't, and after yesterday, I decided I am going to do something about it.

Like I said, I'm not mad at him and I don't hate him, not even close. But I'm not giving up, and after all is said and done if it's not meant to be then I am okay with that and I will move on. But he will ALWAYS be my best friend, that is one thing that will never change.

Anyways, these are just some of my thoughts and my thoughts on here probably don't make sense to any of you, or some of you probably don't care, but I needed to put it down somewhere and this is where I usually come.

Tomorrow will be a much happier post then the past few nights. Thanks for being there for me you guys! I love all 3 of you that read my blog! :P