Thoughts

So I have been thinking lately about moving out. I'm not going to for a while, but I really would love to. I want to have more independance and responsibility that I don't have while still living with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I do have a lot of independance and responsibility at my house, but I think it would be different on my own. I love my parents for letting me live at home without having to pay them rent or anything like that. I, obviously, am going to stay at home for a while, just because I can. But in the near future, in the next few months or year or so, I would love to move out. I think it would be good for me.

i want to watch!

There is a Lakers game on tonight.

Guess who can't watch it?

I'm home... so you'd think that I would be able to.

It's because it's on a channel that you have to order. Not TNT or ESPN like usual.

Sad day.

Scrapbooking

I love to scrapbook.
I need to scrapbook more.
Especially now that I have the time.
I have lots of pictures to scrapbook for Cody's mission album.
But I want more pictures of him to scrapbook. :D
Guess I'll have to wait to steal his pictures from him when he gets home.
I get to start on a mission album for Parker soon too :( Sad day. But happy day cause then I'll get to scrapbook more!

Frightmares 2010

Parker, Lindsey, and I went to Lagoon with our cousin Joel yesterday. It was so much fun! Joel couldn't come until 3 pm because of band practice, but we found lots of fun stuff to do until he got there. For example...

We've always wanted to take these pictures. But... we just never did. Good thing we remembered to take extra money yesterday to do them because they were fun. We got a really good deal on them too. The goofy picture is really goofy though. The lady gave us literally 10 seconds to decide what we were going to do. I'm not good with posing on the spot like that. Parker and Lindsey did really good! I tried to look like I was worried that Parker was gonna shoot Lindsey in the head. Didn't work haha! Now I figured out what I should have done. I figured out that I should have either been trying to grab the money that's in Parker's other hand since he wasn't looking... or putting my hand over my mouth... that would have made me look more worried. Oh well. What's done is done. It's a good picture anyway. Lindsey and I also though it was weird that they didn't give us shoes to wear. It looks funny when saloon girls don't wear their shoes hehe! Oh well... it was still a blast.

We waited to do most of the bigger rides until Joel got there. In the meantime we did like the Tilt-A-Whirl, Samurai, and Merry-Go-Round, just because those were good rides to do where you didn't need an even group. Then when Joel got there, we did Collassus (I'm not so sure that's how you spell it but oh well) and Wicked, etc. Then we did the haunted houses when it got dark.

This is the only picture that Joel would let me take of his face. What a punk :P

Now I need a few minutes to vent. Sorry. Sacrament meeting in church today went pretty good. Until Bishop stood up. Here's a pre-cursor to this story. Apparently my ward had a service project sleepover from Friday until Saturday. I didn't go because I thought it was a terribly inappropriate activity, well the sleepover part, plus we had already planned Lagoon for that Saturday. Anyways, I guess only half of the ward that told Bishop they were planning on being there showed up, which is fine. College life gets crazy. Things come up for classes that are important, or maybe something happens in a family that can't be missed. Sometimes college students get super busy and just forget. It happens. But my Bishop can't see that, because during Sacrament meeting, he got up and told the ward that this activity wasn't for the service. The reason they had it was so that people could interact and get to know each other. Don't you think that it should be about both? But don't you think that it could be done WITHOUT giving the kids an opportunity to be inappropriate? (Not that it happened or that it would, but still you're giving them a good chance to let it happen.) Then he goes on to tell the ward that he can only trust about 40% of the ward and that he doesn't trust the other 60% and that he's very dissappointed. WHAT?! Say that again, Bishop? Seriously? As a man in your position... you SHOULD NEVER tell a group of young adults that you don't trust them just because they missed an activity. That's stupid! You shouldn't say it to anyone at all! That really really upset me. Not because I am a member of the ward and now believes that my bishop doesn't trust me (I didn't answer him back so he didn't know if I was coming or if I wasn't...) but because it's just an uncalled for and rude comment. I don't understand. I came hom WAY upset and told my Mom about it. She told me to consider the source... which I have. Yes he's weird most of the time and does weird stuff but he is a man called of God. He shouldn't be saying that, or planning those types of activities for a college ward.

Alright, I'm done venting now. Sorry. I just don't understand people. I know I am in this ward for a reason, same as my last ward. I'm in this ward to see how not to act in leadership positions, to learn how to treat people, and to help my testimony grow, which is really hard. I'll get in a good ward someday. I just have to be patient.

Memories

Alright, I'm warning you. This post is more for me then it is for anyone else. There is really no way that I can do this the way I want to in my journal and have it make sense... well sight wise. :P So please bear with me.

I've been thinking lately a lot about all the memories that I have with Cody before he left. I know you're probably sick about hearing about him... that's why this post is more for me then anyone else. Haha... anyways, my thinking hasn't been bad thinking. It's just been things that reminds me of him. Most of these memories are good, there is one that is bad, and that is my fault that it's kind of a bad one. I'll explain when we get there.

First off:

This is one of the many Comedy Sportz teams that is here in town. If you haven't been to Comedy Sportz, you should go! It's so much fun! I had never been until Cody took me. It was on our first date we went on in September of 2009 ... the 2nd time around. We went to Los Hermanos for dinner, and then we went and watched this. We had a lot of good long talks about different things. I'm not going to lie, I was super scared to go on this date. I had been mad with him for breaking up with me the frist time the February before this because I really really liked him. So I was scared that I was only throwing myself out there to be hurt again. But after our talk that we had, I felt better about being on the date with him. I felt better about a lot of stuff after that date.

Sledding. You're probably wondering what this is all about. Well, this is what we did when we very first hung out in November of 2008. It was after I had broken up with AJ, and I had told my friends, Kenzie and Emily that worked with us at Sam's Club at the time, that I liked Cody. Well... that was the beginning. They planned this whole sledding trip with Cody and our friend Chris Crane. I was so nervous when I found out he was coming! I didn't know what to say to him or what to talk about. Later on, I found out that he was super nervous too and didn't know what to say to me. Sledding always reminds me of him now. Especially when we go to Rock Canyon Park by Provo Temple.

Red Robin and "When In Rome"... this was our very LAST date before he left. We went to dinner at Red Robin. I will forever remember our conversations we had while eating. They were so hilarious and so random! Then afterwards, we went to the movies and he surprised me with tickets to this movie. I had no idea that he had bought them! He knew that I was wanting to see this movie and so he secretly bought the tickets without me knowing. He ended up liking the movie too! I still have the ticket stubs...

This was also the same night that he told me that he loved me.

This is where we went to dinner on our very FIRST date. We bought a pizza and shared it... I had two pieces and was full. He ate the whole rest of the pizza by himself, after he made sure I wasn't going to eat anymore of course. :D

This is the movie we went and saw together BEFORE we started dating the 2nd time around. He had seen it before, and had been begging me to go see it with him. I didn't think that it looked good at all. I thought it looked stupid. But I went anyways. Little did I know that I would love this movie. This night was also one of the hardest nights for me ever. It was so hard for me to sit there and not grab his hand to hold it. Later on I found out that he was having that same problem.

Oh Lagoon. This is the bad memory. In the summer of 2009, Cody asked me to go to Lagoon with him on our day off at Sam's. I wanted to go sooo bad! And I wanted to go with him soo bad. But... I was scared again, and still mad at him. So I said no. I feel so super bad about this. I totally owe him a few Lagoon trips when he comes home.

All the bad memories I have are the fights that we had. And they all started because of me. I was mad at him... while liking him at the same time the whole time we weren't together. Every time he texted me, I always had to find something to pick at him for, even if there wasn't anything... and it always started a fight. I though that if I did that then maybe it would help me get over him, because I honestly didn't think that I had a chance to get back together with him. I didn't know he liked me. I thought he was always just wanting to hang out as friends. When he asked me on the date to Comedy Sportz, I honestly just said yes so that I could tell him what I was feeling and hopefully get him off my back. The talk I was talking about on that date opened my eyes, and I'm so glad that we had that talk because it made me realize what he was feeling and thinking and vice versa. I'm glad that he was a persistent bugger. If he wasn't, who knows who I'd be with now a days and what situations I would find myself in.

This is the movie we went and saw after dinner on our FIRST date. Love this movie!

Ok so this movie is not a memory of him. But the idea is. I loved going and watching his church ball games! The first time I went was the night that I met his whole family, and I met his Dad at the church ball game. I was super nervous meeting his Dad. But I loved going and helping run the score board and having talks with his Dad and watching Cody in his element. He loves basketball, and it was sooo much fun watching him. I look forward to many more church ball games. I'm not going to lie.

Basketball in general reminds me of him. Wonder why? :P

Hahahahaha! This is the movie we were watching when we had our very first kiss. Random movie to kiss to, I know. You'd think it would have been like Ever After or something like that. :D But nope.... Hahaha!

Chris asked me at work what my ring size was. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why he was asking me. I figured it was a weird boy thing that I would never understand. So... without any questions, I told him and didn't think of it again.

Until this.

This is the ring he gave me before he left. It was a surprise. And boy was I surprised when he gave it to me. I can only imagine what my face looked like because I was so not expecting anything like this. He looked like he was going to pass out when he gave it to me, he was nervous. And then the look of relief on his face when I told him I would wear it... makes me smile when I replay it in my head. He was so worried that I wasn't going to wear it... what a worry wart! I wear it everyday.

And I love it.

These are just a few memories that I have of Cody... but they are the most important that are always in my mind. See... I told you that this was more for me then for anyone else. Thanks for bearing with me.

11 Pounds

I didn't believe it for myself at first.As most of you know, I have been trying to lose some weight... a lot of weight! My goal is to be in a size 7 or 8 by February of 2012, which is when Cody comes home. So far, I have lost about 10 or 11 pounds since the middle of August! Honestly, I am so proud of myself. I never would have believed that I did it if it wasn't my own body.
I couldn't ever tell that I was actually losing weight at first though. People that see me everyday at work have been commenting on how loose my scrubs are, and even my family has been noticing. That makes me so excited! I can never tell just by looking at myself in the mirror every day. But I can tell when I look at these two pictures.

The first one was taken in the first of April of this year. The second one was taken the first of October of this year. Look at my belly. That's where you can really tell. (Just so you know... I stayed at a pretty normal weight since I graduated high school. I've been at 198 since I graduated... so all of my pre-weight loss pictures look like the first pic.) I am amazed at my progress! I have just been adjusting some things that are a part of my lifestyle, and look at what a difference it has made. I laugh when I hear of these girls who go on twenty different diets and are on a new on every week and aren't losing any weight, and then there I am... changing habits in my daily life and I'm 11 pounds lighter.

I'm lovin' life!

Black Cherry

You're probably wondering why this post is called "Black Cherry." Well, here's the story.
So I decided that I wanted to do something different with my hair. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cut it or if I wanted to color it or do both. I finally decided, since I can't decide if I want short hair again or long hair, to leave it the way it is and just color it.

Here's the old hair color:

Here's the new:

WARNING! Don't mind the no make up or hair being done...

it looks better done, I promise :D

I used a Dark Brown Gold and a color called Black Cherry, it's a dark brown that has a hint of purple-ish in it.
My Mom has been calling me Black Cherry all night :D So... that's what my new nickname is for a while at my house since my hair is dark. I like it though. I love the new color! I'm always looking for something different to do. Maybe in a few months I'll decide to cut it short again. Who knows.